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                                   More Laughter for you.
                            Things to do on the first day of class...
 
 

 Sit in the front and color in your textbook.

 Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".

 Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would 
 go if he  died tomorrow.

 Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.

 Sing your questions.

 Speak only in rhymes and hum the Underdog theme.

 When the professor calls roll, after each name scream "THAT'S MEEEEE! Oh, 
  no, sorry."

   Insist in a Southern drawl that your name really is Wuchen Li. If you actually 
   are  Chinese, insist that your name is Vladimir Fernandez O'Reilly.

   Page through the textbook scratching each picture and sniffing it.

   Wear your pajamas. Pretend not to notice that you've done so.

     Inform the class that you are Belgian royalty, and have a friend bang 
    cymbals together whenever your name is spoken.

    Address the professor as "your excellency".

    Shout "WOW!" after every sentence of the lecture.

    Bring a mirror and spend the lecture writing Bible verses on your face.

    Present the professor with an enormous fruit-basket.

    Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee 
    henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.

    Watch the professor through binoculars.

    Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.

    When the professor turns on his laser-pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"

    Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, 
    even if it's Smith. Claim that the "i" is silent.

     Sit in the front row, reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.

    As soon as the first bell rings, regardless of the class subject,volunteer to put 
    a problem on the board. Ignore the professor's reply and proceed to do so
    anyway.

   Claim that you wrote the class textbook.

   Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream 
    "IMPOSTER!"

   Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Sign-up Sheet #5" 
   at the top, and start passing it around the room.

   Stand to ask questions. After the professor answers, bow deeply before 
   taking your seat.

   Interrupt every few minutes to ask the professor, "Can you spell that?"

   Disassemble your pen. "Accidentally" propel pieces across the room while 
   playing with the spring. Go on furtive expeditions to retrieve the pieces. 

   Wink at the professor every few minutes.

   Laugh heartily at everything the professor says. Snort when you laugh.

   Wear a black hooded cloak to class, and ring a bell.

   Ask your math professor to pull the roll chart above the blackboard of 
   ancient Greek trade routes down farther, because you can't see Macedonia.



 
 
 


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