Things To Do At Walmart - A New version
shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially
Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think
Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by)
Play with the automatic doors.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud
Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a
Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look
Put M&M's on layaway.
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only
Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if
Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield
Take bets on the battle described above.
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden,
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging &
Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the
Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If
Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave
Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between
Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you
Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he
While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various
Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say
Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your
Go to an empty chckout stand and try to check people out.
Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin
Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper
Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of
Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page
Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by
While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify
Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow
Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TVís to Young & the
Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars.
Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act
Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".
Start pocketing any and all free samples.
Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter
Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where
When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple
Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and
Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving
Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away
Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose,
Put jockstraps in the lingerie department.
Put lingerie in the men's department.
Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.
Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each
In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your
With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture
Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!!! I haven't seen you in so
Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try
Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.
Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is
Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on
Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet
With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all