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Fun Things To Do At Walmart - A New version

    Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and
    stranding them at strategic locations.

    Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

    Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout
    the day. 

    Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

    Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray
    air fresheners.

    Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

    Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

    Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

    When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially 
    thin narrow aisles.

    Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think 
    we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 

    Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) 
    from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout 

    Play with the automatic doors.

    Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in 
    so  long etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

    While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud 
    enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?"

    Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

    Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a
    test drive.

    Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet 
    away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

    Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your 
    playing field.

    As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look 
    mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

    Put M&M's on layaway.

    Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

    Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only 
    invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

    Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other 

    Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm 
    Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

    Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

    Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.

    When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why 
    won't you people just leave me alone?"

     Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if 
    there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

    Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield 
    with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

    Take bets on the battle described above.

    Hold indoor shopping cart races.

    Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: 

    Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your 

    Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

    Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, 
    pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

  "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & 
    playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie 
    bandanna aroundhead).

    Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.

    When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, 
    quickly make off with it without saying a word.

    Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

    When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the 
    fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

    Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

    Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If 
    the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't 
    get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

    Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave
    them in strategic locations.

    Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

    Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

    When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between 
    them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 

     Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you 
     pick your nose.

     Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick 
     might give an interesting effect!!!)

     While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he 
     knows where the anti-depressants are.

     While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's 
     signs on the doors of the rest room.

     In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various

     Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say 
     things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into 
     believing that the clothes are talking to them.

     Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your 
     face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when 
     customers walk in.

     Go to an empty chckout stand and try to check people out.

     Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin 
     stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie." 

     Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper 
     from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

     Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of 
     strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them, then wave 
     your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That 

     Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page 
     customer "Mike Hunt" (or "Harry Butz", etc.)

     Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by 
     which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed 
     description of your own problem.

     While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify 
     the  boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo.3:50 PM 

     Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow 
     when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

     Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TVís to Young & the 
     Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly. 

     Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. 
     Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.

     Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act 
     like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start 

     Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

     Start pocketing any and all free samples.

     Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

     Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter 
     Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to 
     McDonald's and try to return a toaster.

     Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where 
     the rash cream and lice remedies are.

     When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple 

     Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and 
     turn the volumes to "10".

      Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

      Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving 
      store. As youíre walking through the doors act like youíre 
      expectingthe alarms to go off.

     Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away 
      as fast as you can.

      Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, 
      your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus 

      Put jockstraps in the lingerie department. 

      Put lingerie in the men's department.

      Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture.

      Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each 
      time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.

      In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your 
      arms out and "buzzing". 

      With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture 

       Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!!! I haven't seen you in so
       long!!!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" 
       and  walk away. 

       Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try 
       to hold the same position for as long as possible.

       Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone.

        Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is 
        on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, 
        and don't stop until somebody throws you out. 

        Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on 
        a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend 
        holds the reins.

        Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet 
        Department. Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks.

        With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all 
        excited about something. See how many people who walk by will 
        come stand in it, too and keep noching up bit by bit. (Note - This 
        really works)